holyboogers

Right around the two-year mark, Ryan suddenly became petrified of having his hair cut.  I brought him to Snip-It’s, a cute salon that caters specifically to children, thinking that perhaps this would do the trick.  I’m not sure I could have been more wrong!  He spent the time wailing as he reached up to his hair trying to block the woman’s scissors from making any sort of contact.  We tried bubbles…forget it.  Lollipop?  He held it in his fist and proceeded to protect his locks.  We ended our session early, before his hair was fully cut.  Back at home, I was forced to cut Ryan’s hair while he was sleeping at night.  Thankfully, this actually worked well enough that I could cut some one night, cut more another night, and by the third night, we were pretty much good to go.  It wasn’t perfect, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t left completely out of control long, either.  I was satisfied!

And then, as all things seem to do in childhood, this stage came to an end.  When I would extract those scissors from the kitchen cabinet, I’m convinced Ryan heard it from the bedroom in his sleep.  Ha! :)  Instead of sleeping peacefully through my snips, he would immediately slap at his head, grunting, eyes still closed tightly as he did so.  If I continued, then it would escalate.  Not only would he grunt and slap, he’d press his eyes even more firmly together and give a little whimper of protest as well.  Yeah…I was done.  How in the world was I going to cut his hair now?  I didn’t want to resort to forcefully holding him down.  With this new dilemma came a great idea from my husband.  Why not use the buzzer?

Now, in theory, you’d think this was an amazing idea, right?  Buzz and you’re done.  Simple enough.  But I just absolutely did not want a buzz cut for Ryan.  I just think he looks so incredibly handsome when his hair is a bit longer.  Pair this with the fact that he’s got two cowlicks, inherited by his Dad, might I add (chuckle, chuckle), that stick up like devil’s horns.  He could have played Dennis the Menace, I tell you!  I figured if he was buzzed, the cowlicks would be that much more pronounced.  So…I imaging you can see my hesitation.  And yet, I had to admit to myself that there was no way out.  I really had no other option.  And so, we decided to try it out.  We picked out the clipper set at Walmart that had the longest buzzer setting (one inch), took it home, and we were set to go.

Breathe, Amy… you’re being ridiculous!  Bzzz…and how incredibly easy was that??  Holy wow!  And the inch setting was just right!  His cowlicks weren’t any worse for the wear, and it was still long enough for my very picky liking.  Success!

Jay’s nearing the end of his vacation with us before he has to head back to Portugal and Ryan’s hair was becoming ridiculously long again.  I tell you, if he were a girl, he’d be all set!  We had to buzz that hair of his again before Jay headed back so that we could tag-team Ryan and get it done more quickly.  So, just the other day, out come the clippers again.  We had Ryan sit down on the kitchen floor and put it on the inch setting once again.  I begin.  Ugh…it’s not working for some reason!  The inch is just fine for the top of his head, but I just can’t seem to get the bottom and the sides short enough that he’s not looking like he’s got a mullet!  And a mullet we most definitely do not want!  I take out the 1/2 inch clipper setting thinking without hesitation that I’ll just get the bottom of his head and the sides by his ears and I’d do this with such precision I should think of changing careers.  Yeah…  Bzzzz.  I set to work.  Ryan’s laughing hysterically thinking that it’s going to tickle, and he’s thrashing from side to side, almost convulsing.  Try buzzing that!  I get the bottom just a bit and then I move to his left side.  Bzzzz I go again.  I back off and see Jay’s eyes widen slightly, a meager smile forming on his face as his hand slides across the side of Ryan’s head.  I shut the power off and take a look for myself.  OOOOPS!  Ugh!  What in the world had I done to my son?  Me…the woman who absolutely DID not want a little boys buzz cut for her children now has no other option but to buzz his entire head.  Here I see longer portions of hair on the top of Ryan’s head hanging limply over a very large area of extremely short hair on the side.  My gosh can I be such a moron sometimes.  Ha!  What in the world WAS I thinking?  Seriously?  So buzz I do and I try to hold back a couple tears that begin to form as I survey the finishing look. 

It’s been a couple days now and I’m no longer in shock when I glance his way and see how different Ryan looks.  It almost fits him :)  I think I’ll let it grow out again and get it back to the way it was prior to my hands slipping away thinking they could work a miracle.  But what gets me more than any other factor is how I feel when I look at my son.  I’ll just sit there and stare at him…really take a look.  He’s my little BOY.  Baby fat gone, lean legs taking it’s place.  His cheeks have thinned out, his eyes almost glow blue with mischief.  This hair cut only accentuates his boyish features.  Baby no more.  I think I must have buzzed it away.

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