Jan 11 2009
Let it Snow?
Last winter, when Jay was home, we had quite the snowy season. I would wake in the morning to the snow often falling fast and heavily to the ground. I would take a look at Ryan and just repeat that well known phrase in a sort of singsong ”let it snow…” I had no worries. It was Jay’s responsibility to dig us out of our driveway as I was pregnant and used that safety excuse to my full advantage. Ha!
But this year…this year is entirely different! Sigh. With Jay gone, it’s up to me to shovel all this snow off the driveway. Our snowblower is broken…of course! At first I didn’t mind it so much. Noah would fall asleep for his nap, I’d bundle Ryan up and we’d head outside. At times, I was even able to keep Ryan indoors, just checking up on him every few minutes from my duties outside. He did such a great job.
This morning I woke to more snow than I had anticipated from the weather report last night. And this morning was the first time I looked at the snow falling and sunk at the thought of bundling myself up and using that darn shovel in what is considered to me now, a long driveway. I have had numerous offers from family to pay for someone to come and plow us out while my husband is away on business, and I honestly don’t know why I haven’t taken anyone up on this offer. Any woman in her right mind would do so. But apparently I’m not right in the mind! Ha! I don’t know if it’s my pride holding me back, but if that’s the case, then I’m just being downright silly. Do I have something to prove? That I can handle my children and my house on my own? That I can, indeed, do this? I don’t know why I would feel this way when anyone can plainly see that I’m handling my responsibilities quite well. Hmmm…. I don’t know why I feel the need to do this on my own, but for whatever reason, I will again venture outdoors in just a few minutes when Noah has fallen asleep for his first nap of the day. Perhaps it’s something that I need to prove to myself? Silly, yes. Perhaps it’s forseeing the inevitable fine-tuned muscles I will have formed by the end of the season? I can chuckle at that one. Although I can’t place my finger entirely on the reason why I feel the need to do this, I do know that once I’m done and I walk indoors, my body is engulfed with pride. I feel good. I’ve done it.
I may dread what I’m about to do in a few minutes, but I know I can do it :) And that feels good.
