holyboogers

I was quite an emotional mess at Ryan’s first birthday party.  Yes, the tears did fall.  His second birthday was no different.  I remember him sitting in his booster chair at the table eating his cake, and I just looked.  I just stood there and stared at him…at his face that had thinned but the cheeks that remained slightly chubby, at his blonde hair and unruly cowlicks that adorned the top of his head.  This was myson.  And he was now two.  Ryan just celebrated his third birthday last weekend, and once again, there was no difference in my emotional well-being :)  Three years old!  During one of the few moments I could steel him away from his hyperactively chasing his friends around the house, I knelt down on the floor to be with him.  Bigger, thinner, and still absolutely beautiful.  Did I mention this was my son? 

There was one difference this year of great magnitude.  Noah.  Noah was with us this year.  I now have two beautiful boys that I love dearly.  It will be Noah’s turn in July.  He’ll be one year.  A year old!  I feel like I’m looking at Ryan all over again, and yet, I know I’m not.  The memories just seem to flood me within with each and every milestone that Noah hits.  I remember these with Ryan.  I remember where I was, how I felt, and the elation I harbored within.  Although Noah reminds me of his older brother, I understand that he is a different child.   Noah is my boa boy.  Yeah…a very silly nickname, I know.  But that’s just what he is.  He is himself and come July, I will have an entirely new reason to celebrate and wont feel any embarrassment when those warm tears find their way down my cheeks as my lovely boy sits in his booster chair eating his very own, original birthday boy cake.

My boys are amazing.  They are dearly loved, no doubt.

Happy Birthday, Ryan!