holyboogers

My sweet jalapeno pepper jelly came in from Tastefully Simple the other day.  Yes!  This morning I whipped out the bagels (some of them already moldy - yuck) and slathered the good ones up with cream cheese and jelly.  Yum!!  I savored this taste, I tell you.  And as I’m blinking my eyes in pure bliss, Noah is next to me in his booster chair pushing away….a poop, that is.  Yeah…pretty much ruined the moment.  I bring my empty plate to the kitchen sink and upon my return to the table, I giggle and say “how did you get a piece of my jelly?” as I see Noah opening and closing his left fist and making a face distorted in wonder.  I reach over to take the piece of jelly from his fingers and…OH MY GOD!  The jelly is not jelly at all…rather it was a piece of carrot from his poop!  Yeah, that’s nice!  I push his chair away from the table and learn that it’s not only in both fists, but squished between his fingers and finger nails, managed to creep out of his diaper and onto his chest, and found it’s way from the bottom of his diaper and onto the seat itself - seatbelt and all.  What fun!

I crinkle my nose as I unbuckle my son from his booster.  Carrying him under the armpits, arms extended in front of me, I make my way up to the second floor where the changing table awaits us.  I plop him down on his back, but where do I begin?  I take out an entire new box of wipes and open it up in front of me.  One wipe?  Heck no!  I extract a bunch and begin with his fingers just to then watch him reach for his diaper and dirty his fingers again. I decide to do my best wipe-down there on the table (man, this was one of very few instances where I wish I had him in a disposable instead of the cloth I use) and then whisk him away to the bathroom sink as the tub is full of toys that I can’t seem to figure out how to rid of without putting Noah’s dirty bum on the floor!  Yeah…this is when I learn that Noah is entirely too big for the bathroom sink now!   His body barely fits in that sink, legs contorted.  I fill the sink with water from the spout, he finds it fun to splash around.  I lift him onto his feet and soap him well, over and over again.  Back down into the sink to rinse him off.  That’s when he decides that it would be fun to turn the water on full blast and scare mommy into thinking that he was going to burn himself.  Out of the sink he comes…wet as can be. 

He’s eventually clean and dry and we make our way downstairs.  I put him in the livingroom with his brother and proceed to the kitchen where I find that Toby has gotten into my container of cream cheese and licked it dry.  He must have decided that this wasn’t satisfying enough because there were also tissues splayed across my kitchen floor that were torn into shredded pieces.  I sigh as I take out the disinfecting wipes and begin to clean off Noah’s booster chair.  Yuck, I tell you! 

I sit here now, though, and Noah is clean.  The chair is clean.  And I know that other moms are reading this right now and nodding their heads as they laugh at my morning misfortune.

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